Reflecting on 2020

Hello to all of my lovely friends, family, and followers - I want to first say thank you for being so patient during my recent blog hiatus. I've been working constantly between my two jobs that you probably have seen featured in my Instagram stories! And to be honest, this past semester and summer have been a time for me to really focus on the healing that comes with stages of past trauma. For those who are close to me: thank you for being so supportive during this rollercoaster of (more than) a year. I have recently made the decision to stay in Rochester for the fall semester, as all of my classes were (unknowingly) transferred to online while my roommates and I got ready to finalize living plans in the city. Financially, it is the smartest thing for my family, and I'm sure there are some of you out there reading this who are also staying home too. I want this blog to be a space where people can connect from all over, whether your fall plans are what you expected them to be or not.

I wanted to take the time and create a post highlighting some of the major lessons that 2020 has brought forth in my life so far. I'm hoping many of you can relate to at least one or two; this year has many lives twisted and turned upside down, and it's so important to try and take in the knowledge and experience gained through these situations. Easier said than done, but that's where the lessons come in <3

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WHAT YOU GIVE IS (NOT ALWAYS) WHAT YOU GET.

Okay, this is a heavy first lesson, but I think this one is very important: when you put your time and energy into someone or something, there is very rarely a perfect balance of energy between yourself and them.

THIS IS CALLED LIFE. There are going to be times where it seems like the more you try and do whatever thing, the more the thing does not wanna work. This can be discouraging, but the next step is one that separates the successful from the unsuccessful. One of the crucial actions we can take is to not put the brakes on when this happens - the more we get back up and the more we can try to conquer a hardship, whether it be in a relationship, a workplace, or an internal struggle, the faster we can continue the cycle of highs and lows. And of course, this means we make tough choices all the damn time. My anxiety has me continuously trying to please everyone 24/7, and it is near impossible without becoming heavily exhausted and essentially non-functioning. For this reason, it's essential that you ...

FOCUS ON YOUR PRIORITIES.

Priorities are the important things in life, aka the non-negotiables that can lead you to success and overall happiness, depending on what priorities you set for yourself. For a long time in my late teens, I was very much focused on other people's ideas of importance, when I was ignoring the fact that I myself have my own unique visions and goals. And I'm sure a lot of you, along with myself, have felt low confidence from comparing yourself to others. When getting your priorities in order, it feels overwhelming a lot of the time, but I've found that making a shortlist of your day-to-day routine helps. You can then see a pattern of not only the things that you're currently making time for but also the things that you're NOT. How does it make you feel? Upset? Indifferent?

PRIORITIES HAVE INTERNAL MEANING. There are emotions behind the important things. recognize them, let them pass through, and never ignore how something is making you feel.

REALIZE YOU HAVE WHAT YOU NEED.

You have the internal power to make it happen for yourself, whatever "it" is. People can give you tools, advice, and inspire you all day, but you need to be the one that takes the bull by the horns, no matter how long you've been stuck in the bullpen. When you change direction in your life in whatever way you choose, there are always going to be people that will judge you, trash talk you, doubt you, etc. I could go on. Pro tip: winners focus on winning, and losers focus on winners. It is truly a waste of time to try and change the minds of those who do not want to see you succeed. People who genuinely care about you will support you on while your journey continues, whether they do it by being there emotionally, physically, or spiritually.

THE ENERGY YOU PUT OUT IS THE ENERGY YOU WILL ATTRACT. If you want something, stop daydreaming and go get it! If you're working on a big project, don't put down the pen just because you hit a roadblock! Notice the small habits, and flip your perspective. Work on training your brain to act on the positives instead of reacting to the negatives.

HEALING IS NOT LINEAR.

There are going to be times when it feels like everything is finally starting to feel good again when you get hit with a trigger, and it seems like it's game over. The worst thing you can do is to beat yourself up about it or blame yourself, whether or not you have all the answers. You are allowed to have days where your mindset just isn't right. You're allowed to feel upset or anxious no matter how long the time is between now and your trauma. You're allowed to ask for compassion from the people you trust. There is no correct way to navigate healing because we as humans are all so different. One of the best things to do is to tune in and

LISTEN TO YOURSELF. And I don't just mean emotionally - this means physically too. Both resting and eating when you are tired and hungry are equally as important as recognizing intrusive thought patterns and making sure you have someone you trust to talk to. It is rare that we make it out of difficult situations alone; seeking out those who personally understand the type and/or severity of the trauma can make things a whole lot less scary.

I am working to manifest the rest of 2020 as a period of more growth, more doing, more being, and more giving. I'm thrilled that you read this whole post, and I would love to hear what your personal 2020 lessons are! As always, you can reach me through Instagram (@annathedreamer) and follow my journey there :)

Until next time,

Anna xxx